Breanna and Raymond came in for therapy because Breanna was depressed. She saw no hope for the future of the marriage because Raymond was always either working or playing golf. During the first session, she described what precipitated her calling for an appointment. She had accidentally locked herself out of the house and called Raymond at work, hoping he would come home and let her in.
Raymond told her that he had an important meeting to attend. In a rather irritable voice, he advised her to call a locksmith. Breanna felt betrayed by Raymond's refusal to help her and stunned to learn how low she ranked on his list of priorities. In discussing this incident in the therapy session, Breanna focused on how Raymond had expressed no understanding or empathy for how she felt that day.
She could understand it was impractical for him to rush to her rescue, but couldn't he at least have offered some moral support?
Raymond, on the other hand, saw this situation as an example of how she relied too much on him. As the session progressed, he listed other evidence of Breanna's "overdependence": every Saturday morning as he prepared to play golf, she would ask if they could do something together later in the day—perhaps go out to dinner.
Raymond then described how controlled he felt by his wife's "dependency. If only she had more friends or activities to keep her busy, he reasoned, he wouldn't have to feel guilty about wanting some time on his own. Raymond's interpretation surprised Breanna.
There's no way I'd ask him to give up golf. She was involved in leading a charitable organization and was considering starting her own business. Although the situation presented by this couple was more complicated than I can condense in a blog post, this is the main point: Breanna's desire to spend some time with Raymond was not a sign of neediness or dependency, even though Raymond had come to interpret it in this light; Breanna simply enjoyed her husband's company.
In effect, he filtered and perhaps distorted many of Breanna's requests through his belief that she was dependent and needy. In the sessions that followed, I helped Raymond recognize the ways in which he contributed to the problem: The more he avoided making a commitment to spend time together, the more she pursued and pressured him. When he eventually made spending time with Breanna a priority, Raymond enjoyed his time alone more. He felt less guilty, and his life was more in balance.
Similarly, he also enjoyed his time with Breanna more, because it felt like a choice, rather than an obligation. You could be way off the mark. Remember that a little communication and affection can go a long way. She just wanted to know that Raymond cared about her. If you find yourself in a pattern of miscommunication over many months, consider seeking couples' therapy.
Here's how it can work for you. The Best Advice for Any Couple. How to Crack the Code of Men's Feelings. Follow me on Twitter and join me on Facebook.
Barbara Markway, Ph. She is the author of four psychology books and has been featured in media nationwide. Take a look at the many benefits of using a daily planner. Some ways you can show her you can keep your word include: Keep your promises to her, but also keep your promises to other people.
This will help her to see you are a trustworthy person. Be responsible with your schoolwork and work responsibilities.
http://danardono.com.or.id/libraries/2020-04-29/qycaf-track-another.php Confide in her about things. Another way to show her you are a good partner is to open up to her about things you are normally private about. If you trust and love this girl, then show her how much you trust her by sharing things you would otherwise keep secret. This will really help build trust and emotional intimacy in your relationship, which will help your love last. Be sensitive to her feelings.
Brenda Fletcher is a young, upwardly mobile IT professional in her hometown in Washington, D.C. Her ebony skin and curvaceous figure certainly don't go. Women want emotional safety and security with a man in relationship, but her her fears of being alone the woman may make efforts to keep her man close.
It is important to always be mindful of her feelings and take care to avoid hurting them at all costs. Try to use your words carefully and always be respectful! Be willing to compromise. Disagreements will happen in even the most loving relationships, and it is important to address these disagreements maturely.
If she wants to meet your parents but you feel it is too soon, be honest and suggest an outing where she can meet your sibling instead. Communicate effectively.
Want to understand who you are in romantic relationships and how you love? A good man does the little things. Your family and friends give the relationship their stamp of approval. You want more! Girls always want to have a man that resembles her father in many ways. Retrieved 1 May
If you are upset about something, it is equally important that you speak up, just try to remain emotionally calm and always be respectful. Stay away from aggressive nonverbal cues like crossing your arms or avoiding eye contact. Always try to resolve the issue, but remember that some important topics may take more than one conversation to resolve.
Balance your time together. Giving her space is important. Showing her that you have a social life outside of your relationship will help her feel less pressured to be your sole source of happiness and she will appreciate your time together more. How do I get a girl to trust me after I've made some mistakes?
And what does "take a break" mean? If she said she does not love me anymore, and she's thinking about leaving me, but not yet, what do I do? Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Tips Edit It is important to always be respectful. If a girl is not interested and says so, back off and leave her alone.
If your relationship fails, try to look at the experience and learn from it. Look at what went wrong and use this knowledge in your next relationship. Related wikiHows. Co-Authored By:. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Together, they cited information from 7 references. Co-authors: Updated: March 29, Categories: Maintaining Relationships. Italiano: Tenere una Ragazza Legata a te per Sempre.
Nederlands: Ervoor zorgen dat je meisje bij je blijft. GA Gaston Akenetue Dec 1, Every now and then I guess it irritates her. NS Nyameko Sogoni Dec 13, Thank you, this is really helpful, especial for one who wants to grow, emotionally, physically and mentally.